"I learned the hard way that they all say things you want to hear. My heavy heart sinks deep down under. You and your twisted words, your help just hurts. You are not what I thought you were."
If there's anything my marriage and previous relationships have taught me, it's that men lie. They can can be deceitful, conniving, selfish, inconsiderate bastards. I woke up this morning to find myself in another predicament that I've encountered far too many times in the last 10 years. I wonder why I stayed so long. Why did I allow myself to be taken for granted? Why did I allow myself to be used? Are there any decent men still left on this God forsaken Earth? I'm starting to have serious doubts.
HIM: "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I'm the worst thing that's ever happened to you."
ME: "At least you're right about one thing."
I'm self-sufficient, I'm independent, and I thought I was highly intelligent. So why do I allow myself to be run over? Sometimes I wonder if I really am that "damaged" girl that I was labeled so long ago. I don't want to be some bitter, hateful woman that has no trust in anyone. But it's hard to look past all the hurt and pain I've dealt with. It's hard to think that I'll ever have a chance to be happy; to have the kind of life I deserve. All my decisions have lead me to where I am today. They say love is blind and I've been stumbling in the dark for far too long. Maybe I'm just now opening my eyes to the truth. It's time to save myself.
So many similarities with my current situation but I'm the male that just lost all faith in not just women but people. I take full blame though. It was clearly my own actions that caused me to arrive here. I'm becoming more jaded than i thought was already possible. We have to save ourselves and you probably won't truly be happy until you do...again and again and again.
ReplyDeletePeople suck.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have posted, is MY life...to a 'T'....so uncanny...
ReplyDeleteI am 57 & still looking for that/the love. I, also, have always thought I was "damaged". I am NOT.
Save yourself.....